everything will be alright

Having somewhat of a Molly Hooper day, as in feeling like I don't count. I've been asking myself 'why bother?' a lot lately for a bunch of different reasons too. Thinking about it further, I think it all comes down to this: I'm not a religious person at all, but I do try to follow what was taught to me in Sunday school as a kid as The Golden Rule: doing to others as you would have them do to you, though there are many different ways to put it I suppose. I don't follow it because I'm religious, or because it's what someone told me to do, I follow it because, well, that's how I'd want others to act as well. It's certainly not always what happens - both in the way people treat me and in the way I sometimes treat others, I'll be the first to admit - but it's what I aim for, I guess.

So, why bother? Because were the roles reversed I wouldn't want people to give up on me, or to treat me differently, or negatively, or what have you. So I can't change the way I act or behave just because it doesn't yield the results I want, I just have to keep trying.

I dunno, this may not make sense, but I've been having pretty big thoughts about this and other stuff lately. Getting it out into the world and into words helps me try to understand it better, I suppose.

So, I'm back in Carbonear. After landing in St. John's around 2:30 am on Saturday morning, I crashed at my sister's place (mercifully less than 5 minutes away from the airport) and then got a ride back out Saturday afternoon. My luggage is still not here, sadly; it's apparently in the hands of the courier now, who isn't operating today I guess, so no bag for me until tomorrow. My work shoes and my razor and things are all in it too, and I've got court in the morning, but I'm looking at this as a prodding from fate to bust out my fancy dress shoes I got in Philly, oh, two years ago or more and haven't worn yet. Also, I can borrow my father's razor this one time, so it'll be ok.

I've unpacked my carry on, which was pretty jam packed with various gifts and electronics, so that's something I guess. It contained one of the things I bought for myself, which was seasons 1-4 of The Venture Bros. show, and I'm psyched to check it out. It also has some of the lovely Britcoms that my awesome sister-in-law suchanadorer and her hubby elevea got me, and the great books my darling wife believeitup and the awesome onlyonechoice gave me as well, so I'm not completely bereft of awesome things while waiting for my checked baggage. :)

Speaking of awesome things, I came home to a whole mess of Christmas cards from people, omg. Such beautiful words and art, you guys, you are all amazing. ♥ Big thanks to stratford_girl, shinyandnat, _bounce_, writteninsable, and jiandan for all the amazing cards omg. :D

In a similar vein, I also received some awesome goodies in my fandom stocking, including some pretty graphics from chokolattejedi, noveltea, twinsarein, ariestess, and stormylullabye (the latter is a pretty wallpaper that I think you'd really like, believeitup!), and some awesome drabbles by evil_little_dog of The Dresden Files and rise_your_dead of HIMYM. Thank you so much all! :D

The trip was pretty amazing, and if not the longest one I've had with my wife then definitely a very, very close second I'd wager. Even when we got married I was only there for about two weeks, and this was just shy of three, so I think it comes in first place. :) I didn't blog much from there, nor did I take too many pictures, because most of the time was spent relaxing and just hanging out, which was very nice. And, on top of that, we've now got a good grasp on the pending move, including dates and paperwork back from the government, so that's pretty awesome too. I need to check into a whole bunch of things in the near future to start furthering those plans but the wheels are more in motion now than they've ever been before.

Other than that, I'm not really looking forward to work tomorrow, but. I do have the desire, the motivation, to go into this year giving it my all and to do the best I can with it. This month is going to be very busy, with a lot of court, starting tomorrow, so I'm going to be hitting the ground running. I'm very much looking forward to getting it all done and, not to sound like money is all that matters, to getting it all billed out and making an awesome month out of it. December was very good, and I want to keep that momentum up, as January is usually god awful for billings. Not this one, though, I'm going to kick its ass.

That and many other things are on my mind, and we'll see how far I get with them. I won't go into detail here, both because I'm still wrestling with a few things in my own mind and am not sure how to spell them out, and also out of fear for jinxing them, but suffice it to say I want to make a lot of changes this year. No time to start than the present after all, right?

If talking to one's self is a sign of craziness, what does having a conversation with one's self over Twitter, with the other side being you imitating your cat, mean? I... don't really want to know, probably, as I am enjoying it far too much. XD

Hello from work! Ok, when I post this I'll actually be home, but I'm typing it up at the office. Lately things pop into my head through the day, but I usually post in my LJ just before bed ~1am-ish, so by then I've forgotten a lot of it. And then I remember it the next day at work, but forget it again, hehe. But not this time!

I was just thinking on the ride home for lunch about how things have changed the last little while. I've been meaning to change a lot of things - eating habits, exercise routines (ie starting one >.>), etc., and kept thinking that I was getting nowhere. Not that I've done a lot of these things, at least not as much as I intend to change them, but some things have changed. The one thing that hasn't is my own perception of them. *is deep* But now I can see that, and it makes me happy. Things can't just change overnight, and there have been some slow yet important changes in my lifestyle, I just need to focus on the positive and not the negative, or something. Geez, can I say change a few more times? ^_^;;

The biggest change has been with the roleplaying, which has always been sort of up and down with me. And it probably will be, but hopefully not to the same degree as previous extremities, heh. I'm currently in a Good Place with them, as I've never had a wider variety of people to rp with, nor as varied selection of characters to use. This = teh fun. I've felt like this for a good week or more two, which is usually longer than it's lasted in the past. I take this to be a good sign and hope that it stays this way. :D

Also, part of my current good mood is due in no small part to kireisarah. I can't remember the last time I smiled that big of a smile, and I'm still smiling hours later. <3!

I should get back to work now, but I figured I should throw that out there before I forgot it. And Green Day is on the radio now, yay! So weird to have a Tuesday that's actually going well for a change. >.>